Last-minute costume ideas here

Want your child to be unique and relevant all at once? Well, put down that Spider-Man mask and save the Cinderella gown for next year.

Instead, take you kid door-to-door in one of these ensembles. Pay special attention to those homes that boast a Bush-Cheney support sign on the chemically-treated lawns. Lawns that must conceal some frightening secrets. Lawns where they must have buried their hearts, brains and souls to be voting for the most nefarious duo in America's history. Lawns where these voters will soon tred to uproot the signs in defeat after Bush-Cheney lose on Nov. 2, as they deserve.

Consider my optimism your treat in lieu of mini candybars. It's healthier for you and, oh yes, America's future.

Stake that, George Bush!: 'Buffy' creator joins the John Kerry 'Fray'

The above subject line may be the stupidest-sounding "Buffy" reference I've ever made, but I'm incredibly heartened to see John Kerry support coming from Joss Whedon, creator of my favorite television show of all time. Whedon has agreed to do a nationwide conference call to all those who host home-based fundraising parties for Kerry-Edwards. If you have a party, your guests pay a minimum of $35 at the door and then get to hear from "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" creator Joss Whedon.

There was a time I worried a little about Mr. Whedon when, in the seventh and last season of "Buffy," my favorite Chosen One started rounding up potential vampire slayers to pre-emptively strike a group of uber-vampires living beneath Sunnydale. Some of Buffy's rhetoric sounded similar to what was coming less articulately out of the mouth of George W. See below for an example.

Buffy : You're right. We don't know how to fight it. We don't know when it'll come. Can't run, can't hide. Can't pretend it's not the end 'cause it is. Something's always been there to try and destroy the world, and we've beaten them back. Well, we're not dealing with them anymore. We're dealing with why they exist. Evil. The strongest. The First.
Giles : Buffy, um, I-I know you're tired...
Buffy : I'm beyond tired. I'm beyond scared. I'm standing on the mouth of hell and it's gonna swallow me whole. And it'll choke on me. We're not ready? They're not ready. They think we're gonna wait for the end to come, like we always do. I'm done waiting. They want an apocalypse? We'll give them one. Anyone else who wants to run? Do it now, 'cause we just became an army. We just declared war. From now on we won't just face our worst fears, we will seek them out. We will find them and cut out their hearts till the First shows itself for what it really is. And I'll kill it myself. There is only one thing on earth more powerful than evil, and that's us. Any questions?

I thought, NO! Joss cannot support this war in Iraq. He cannot support this president. Joss, after all, is a decent, thinking person who creates great television.

I'm glad for liberal Hollywood. I'm sick of the beating actors, directors and writers take when they throw their support behind a particular cause or candidate ... well, if that cause or candidate is a liberal or Democratic one. Charlton Heston can advocate that every U.S. citizen gets a rifle at birth, but Martin Sheen marches in a few protests and he's told to mind his own business.

Sorry, but the issues -- and especially this election -- are everyone's business. Don't tell me that Sean Penn or Susan Sarandon or Tim Robbins shouldn't talk about voting because they don't know the issues or what's going on.

These people are still parents. They see what world their kids will get stuck with under four more years of the Bush regime. These people travel the world for their work. They certainly know better than Joe Suburbia what other nations think of America right now. They're Americans and, granted, privileged Americans at that. But they have the visibility to start discourse in this country about the issues and attitudes that need to be addressed.

I'm guessing that the Right Wing gets upset about the celebrity endorsements mainly because their lists of celebrity supporters is so small and the celebs they do have as backers are so INCREDIBLY LAME: I mean, Ricky Martin, Ted Nugent, Don King, Jim Nabors? (I'm admittedly a little disappointed that Buffy-embodier Sarah Michelle Gellar appears on the list, but I'd rather have the show's creator.)

I mean, the right-wing celebrities don't draw flak for their views: How many times do I have to watch Mr. Heston caress his guns? How many times do I have to hear Toby Keith singing about putting boots up terrorists' asses? Why did I need to know that Jesus freak Mel Gibson wanted to kill Frank Rich's dog?

Well, actually, none, none and I don't (though hearing Mel Gibson talk about putting someone's intestines on a stick and killing the same person's dog was great, considering he released the quote while publicizing a Christ movie.)

I turn away. And if you're a right-winger that just can't stand your favorite celeb is taking an impassioned stand for something, you can do the same if it means that much to you. And be proud, cause Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen are still on your side.

Friday night nepotism

Those who've read over the past couple days probably believe I'm fiercely political.

I'm also fiercely proud of my brother, an independent filmmaker who's nearly done with editing his second film, "Cocked: A First Shot at Crime." A preview is up right now.

Shot against the lush backdrop of Oak Lawn, and produced by Brandt Street Studio (also located in glamourous Oak Lawn), "Cocked" is a must-see ... when it officially releases.

My brother also wrote, directed, shot and edited "Born for Death" (again, filmed in Oak Lawn), which won an award and accolades at the Chicago Horror Film Festival. You can buy the DVD here.

No Hollywood egos, trite endings or focus-group controlled cinema here, folks. Just a true love of good film ... and lots of fake blood.

And hey, you can say you were among his first fans, and I know how people love that kind of stuff.

I can't wait to read this!

The Believer's October issue has an interview with John Kerry. Not only that, but the mag ditched it's usual four-image cover to give the entire front over to the Great Dem Hope!

Sharing is good.

You can now email posts from my blog to your friends. Note the little envelope icon at the tail end of each entry; communicate away, good souls.

The O'Reilly ( ... Ohmigod, get your) Factor (away from me!)

The Smoking Gun has posted text from a lawsuit a former FOX NEWS employee filed against Bill O'Reilly for sexual harassment (as opposed to his usual brand of harassment -- against anybody who disagrees with him.)

They've highlighted the best bits, but read the whole thing to get an idea of where the narrow-minded pinhead is coming from. (Oh, not like that ... )

Didn't O'Reilly bash Clinton for his extramarital affair? Here, O'Reilly talks about how he's looking forward to an Italy trip for more than the pasta.

I especially like the part where he tells the complainant that's she's got no chance if she files suit against him because he has more money to retain legal counsel than she does and therefore she'll have no chance at winning.

Wonder what he'll be doing with his tax cut?

More on "Stolen Glory"

Richard Roeper of the Chicago Sun-Times writes briefly about the Sinclair issue today: He and I are on the same page ... Republicans serve up outrage better than liberals. If Sinclair was airing a Michael Moore flick, Rush and Annie (Coulter) would need bigger dribble cups to scoop up their excess foaming-at-the-mouth. (Yes, just used that phrase as a noun.)

Writing fever ... coming soon.

That's me; writing a novel in a month. But, um, if you want to learn more about National Novel Writing Month, go to the links column and click on the icon there. Once the month is under way, I'll post a link or two to excerpts from my (Written at) Great (Speed) American Novel.

"Stolen Honor" rips off democracy

Usually, I try to be funny on this page (don't know if I succeed, as I don't get many comments ... hint, hint), but this is a topic severely unfunny. Read at your own risk.

I'm glad John Kerry won't accept Sinclair Media's invitation to respond to the airing of a negative documentary, "Stolen Honor: Wounds that Never Heal" on his Vietnam service. If you haven't heard, Sinclair is demanding that all 62 of its stations -- many in swing states -- must air the documentary, with no commercials. Worse yet, Sinclair isn't billing the film as a documentary -- which at least would imply that it contains some opinions -- but instead it's billing this film as news. This article details further Sinclair's actions, which should seemingly be provoking outrage across the country.

Can't anyone do outrage anymore?

Granted, what passes for journalism these days -- especially in the television broadcast arena -- is little more than regurgitated press releases from our leaders and newsmakers. For a reporter to ask a tough question somehow leads to charges that said reporter is biased.

But Sinclair is using corporate power to deny fairness.

This is the same company that pulled "Nightline" off the air the day Ted Koppel was to read the names of the service men and women killed in Iraq.

But they're airing this film, claiming their basis to be that "John Kerry has made his Vietnam Service the foundation of his presidential run." Excuse me? Yes, the man is proud of his service, his three Purple Hearts and his later activism, but they're overlooking the countless issues he's brought up in the debates, in his speeches and on his website.

In other words, Sinclair is using a fallacy to justify pushing its stations to give free attack time to Bush & Co.

I haven't seen the film. It won't change my vote. Basically, though, the documentary comprises interviews with Vietnam veterans who say their Vietnamese captors used John Kerry's 1971 Senate testimony, in which he recounted stories of American atrocities, to prolong their torture by making them feel betrayed.

Not to be glib, but I'd bet you could play episodes of "The Andy Griffith Show" or "Happy Days" to POWs and, every time they saw Opie or the Fonz for the rest of their lives, they'd feel pretty tortured by the images. If torture was doled out with a tasty steak following every mental or physical trauma experiment, I bet the POWs would come back with a taste aversion to beef. It's called the power of association.

Here, in the text of Kerry's testimony , I see honesty, conviction and more eloquence than most people of 27 years (John Kerry's age in 1971) could hope to possess. Whether you agree with his activism or not, a man coming home from war to speak honestly before his nation's leaders about what he and many of his fellow soldiers viewed to be the wrong action seems to be just that: speaking honestly and with purpose. Bush & Co. have dared to say that John Kerry's actions at age 27 were simply so that he may one day launch a political career and run for office. Doubtful. Granted, Kerry was an infinitely more sentient being at 27 than our current president, but as someone at what I consider to be a smart age 27, it's hard to figure out what our big aspirations will be. Especially when you're part of a world as fucked up as the one we've got now ... or the one they had in 1971.

At any rate, and whatever side of the debate you're on, I urge you to ignore this film. During election years more than ever, network execs need to take precaution to uphold at least the appearance of fairness (while still asking tough questions -- something only Jon Stewart seems to know anything about.)We know Sinclair Media Group benefits from the Bush administration's support for loosening of FCC ownership standards and we know that Sinclair vice president Mark Hyman makes regular one-minute commentaries on-air -- and in most of these, he bashes Kerry. (Hyman, by the way, also compared Democrats to "Holocaust deniers" for comparing the free airing of the anti-Kerry POW film to in-kind advertising for Bush.)

Hyman has said that Sinclair will give Kerry the opportunity to respond, but what idiot would willingly subject himself to the "response time" provided by a media group that's clearly out to harm his chances? For him to take Sinclair up on its offer would be like RuPaul agreeing to sing at a Pat Robertson sermon.

What can we do? Writing this has been only slightly better than throwing my hands up in disgust.

Here's a list of Sinclair's advertisers. Write to them. Boycott them. And maybe throw a Fahrenheit 9-11 party on the night "Stolen Honor" airs on your Sinclair affiliate.

What if...?

A woman is elected U.S. President?

Maybe not likely to happen in my lifetime, but someday it's gotta, right? (Let's pray it's never the likes of her or her.)

So my question is: If the United States (male) President's mate is a First Lady, what would we call a female U.S. President's (male) spouse? Obviously, a female partner or spouse for a president with two X chromosomes would still be a First Lady. And wouldn't that piss off the neocons?

Is the answer to this conundrum somewhere within our national documents? Would Ms. President's spouse be First Man? (That's kinda biblical for my tastes.) First Gentleman? (Sounds like she paid for an escort.) First Husband? (Does that imply that, because this mystery woman will be president, she will have a second husband?) First Mister? (Sounds kind of pervy, don't ya think?)

If we're ever going to have a female president, I think we need to settle this matter soon. Fixing up the rules to apply to our debut Ms. Prez can only encourage more women to seek the office. One day.

Otherwise, do away with the whole First Lady title. How white-gloved and Stepfordized can a title get? (Oh, wait, it's become ever more Stepford-ized with each and every photo and appearance of the plasticine Ms. W.B. Creepy.)

How can we lose?

Click here for just one more piece of evidence that Democrats are smarter and funnier than Republicans.

How do you say "In Yo' Face" in Presidential Candidate-ese?

Ha ha.

Based on the early evidence (and isn't it weird that both parties are allowed to spin the outcome of the debate to their sides, shouldn't it just be judged as a stand-alone piece), Kerry kicked W's ass. Even conservatives were afraid to say that Bush did any good because they'd then have to be tested for stupid genes. Oh, wait, conservatives don't believe in that gene therapy stuff.

I mean, the best W could come up with was telling people being president is "hard work" and Kerry "flip-flops"? Even following Kerry's nuanced (oh, that's become a bad word in the Bush administration) explanation on the method Bush & Co. employed to start the Iraq War is what he disagreed with, they still tried to fault the guy and, on "The Daily Show" afterward Rudy Guiliani sounded like your old, senile aunt who can't remember if you're a boy or a girl. He even kept going back to the flip-flop thing, as Jon Stewart tried to help Rudy redeem himself.

(This dialogue is an approximation:)
Jon: Well, don't you think Kerry was saying he didn't agree with the way we went into Iraq?
Rudy: No. He just wasn't being consistent.
Jon: Well, I thought it sounded like he said that, yes, Saddam may have been a threat but we should have exhausted every possibility diplomacy-wise and inspection-wise before our pre-emptive strike.
Rudy: Well, Jon, here you have a candidate who wants more allies on our side but is saying we're doing the wrong thing. What's up with that, bro?
Jon: Okay, what are you doing even talking about the debates? You were mayor of New York and suddenly became Expert Numero Uno because you were in office on Sept. 11? I think you should go back to sweeping up Times Square.
Rudy: John Kerry is inconsistent. I like New York. And cheese. Consistent cheese. Where am I?

So, anyway, in the next two debates, John Kerry should give us more of the same so that we as a nation can have something vastly different from the last four years.